Thank God for my big nose.

Okay, here is some “positive thinking therapy!” I have a big nose….hahahahaha….. Yeah seriously, and when I was younger it really bothered me. I know it sounds stupid but it was a big deal. I mean most things about my physical appearance bothered me and I’d always get on a big bummer when I’d think about it but I won’t get into that right now…heh heh! Lets just focus on one aspect….my big nose. Now for those of you who have an even bigger nose, you might be wondering….”Hey, what the @$#% is his problem?”, “That ain’t a big nose!” If so the answer is: yes and no—depends on who you comparing it with.

For a Caucasian male it’s not that big, maybe slightly bigger than average, but I have a smaller head and narrow face so it ends being a rather prominent feature on my face.

I grew up in Asia–my parents were posted overseas a good majority of my life, and we lived mostly in South East Asia where pretty much everybody has a small or flat nose. My big nose coupled with my blondish hair and white skin was a rare and curious spectacle.

It often happened when I would meet someone for the first time (in S.E.A.) that I would invariably get questions and fascinated inquiries about the size, length and what-have-you about my nose. So I kind of grew too loath my big nose and all the unwanted attention it brought.

Thankfully though I got to the point where I stopped thinking about it and I’ve kinda learned to accept my nose the way God gave it to me. Since I’ve gotten over that hurdle I’ll go a step further and honestly say “Thank God for my big nose”. Phew, what a milestone in my life….heheheh…now let’s get down to the reasons to be thankful for a big nose. Impossible, you might think, but I’m sure I can come up with something.

Here are a few cool things about my large proboscis.

I’m thankful for my big nose because……

• It makes everyone with a small or flat nose envious…hahahaha–cool huh?
• Due to its size it makes for a good stroking location when I’m nervous or in an awkward situation
• It can make one helluva blow, when snorting out impurities, and that always feels good, rather manly I would say
• I can breathe , inhale, and snort in copious amounts of air and that always feels nice…can’t imagine what it would be like to have pinhole nostrils
• Sneezing is awesome with a big nose, when it “blows–it really blows!”
• I know there is no scientific proof but I’m sure a big nose helps me have a better sense of smell, I mean I can sample a lot more air in one go than someone with a small snout
• It’s a great identifier, ie: I’m the tall guy with a big nose, can’t miss me
• My nose can be an instrument of pleasure
• Even though it’s big, thank God it doesn’t block my eyesight
• I can use it for eye exercise, esp. for focusing on near objects
• It’s the first part of me to enter a room
• Shades and glasses sit well on it with no danger of falling off or sliding down
• I think it has real “character”….even though that’s hard to explain–”how?”
• And it’s not as big as some others I’ve seen
• It serves as a warning sensor when my face is getting to close to something
• It has helped me perfect the sidewards French kiss
• It draws static attention to me, which–if handle correctly–can be positive attention
• As long I’m comfortable with it, as I found in S.E.A., it’s a great conversation topic or even a way to break the ice…..ie: “Hahaha, how cute, you think I’m a sacred white elephant”….etc

So all that to say, “Thank God for my big nose!” I’d like to add that having a big nose is not always a bad thing for you ladies. There are many ladies I know with big noses that are really hot and those with noses that are slightly more hooked can be pretty hot too! Anyhow that’s just my personal opinion. Lastly, to all those with big noses, both guys and girls I salute you: Hold up that big nose proudly and show the world what you’ve got.

If you have a big nose or you can think of anything else to be thankful for or helpful info in regards to a big nose–feel free to comment! Show the world that you can still have it “big and beautiful”.

And if you have a flat nose–I pity you……hahahahaha

One giant nose--Mr Mehmet Ozyurek

PS: Here is a tip for those awkward times when a kid blurts out and draws attention to something that is different about your body or face. As adults we also notice but usually keep our mouths shut–not wanting to be impolite. Kids generally don’t have that type of social awareness and will, as some have commented below, publicly blurt things out that look funny, strange or different.

A little prepared comeback often works both for the kid and those around who might feel awkward for you. You can say something stupid like, “yeah, I got a big nose because once a monkey gave me a magical banana that would make me taller(smarter), but I got greedy, ate two bananas and it made my nose bigger”. If it’s quick enough, the kid will laugh and/or get confused and the older people will generally continue on, forgetting the awkward situation. You will also be rewarded by getting the focus off your nose or whatever the initial comment was about and on to something else.

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